he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
