i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
