your thong is hanging out like whoa
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
