SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
