hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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