Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we're making bets on your personal life
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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