Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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