So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
