I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
