I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
