Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My dad is sitting where you rode me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
