Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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