..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
