I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
