i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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