we have pet lesbian snakes
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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