i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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