I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Fuck appropriateness.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
