he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
