I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
