4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
