So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
