i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize