Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
