I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
