Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
