So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
