glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i need some magic done to my vagina
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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