ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize