dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
