Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
