if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
What happened to fro yo and sex?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
