You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
