you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
