Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
