theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
