I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
