so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
