I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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