Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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