It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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