It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
