I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
