There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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