Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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