Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize