I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
