We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
