why didn't you poke me back
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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