so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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