HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
