I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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