if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
