perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
