i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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