I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
