is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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