Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
