now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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