I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I need help removing her.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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