On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
