people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
