and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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