Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
