The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
