I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
