Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
