those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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