i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize