she's into porn, im staying here tonight
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
