So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
