Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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